I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
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