How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize