I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
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My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
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Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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