Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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