ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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