every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize