You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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