I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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