How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize