i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
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I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
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She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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