And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize