Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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