So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize