The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize