i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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