Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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