His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize