my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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