well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize