Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize