Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize