when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
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He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
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I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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