what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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