my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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