I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
