Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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