It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
and you said cock pushups were impossible
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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