Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.

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(925): it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee. http://tfl.nu/9pjs

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(248): View more from Michigan

I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night

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(248): I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night http://tfl.nu/pm2y

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(203): View more from Connecticut

How did you manage that?

(860): View more from Connecticut

Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis

(203): View more from Connecticut

lol... jersey girls rock

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(203): How did you manage that? (860): Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis (203): lol... jersey girls rock http://tfl.nu/qjnw

Replies (66) Good night (947) Bad night (2779)
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(863): View more from Florida

I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.

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(863): I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm. http://tfl.nu/3uu7

Replies (27) Good night (1993) Bad night (535) Order T-Shirt
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(716): View more from New York

i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts

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(716): i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts http://tfl.nu/g5xn

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(303): View more from Colorado

i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'

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(303): i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris' http://tfl.nu/lstf

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(856): View more from New Jersey

You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.

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(856): You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am. http://tfl.nu/u2qi

Replies (14) Good night (1289) Bad night (5755)
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(914): View more from New York

The ice cream man just told me to use protection.

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(914): The ice cream man just told me to use protection. http://tfl.nu/w7kz

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(217): View more from Illinois

There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.

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(217): There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle. http://tfl.nu/aejf

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.

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(267): I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible. http://tfl.nu/ayl9

Replies (9) Good night (1829) Bad night (672)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.

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(732): I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this. http://tfl.nu/iud4

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(760): View more from California

I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.

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(760): I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment. http://tfl.nu/vulx

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(856): View more from New Jersey

He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority

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(856): He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority http://tfl.nu/8eu2

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(816): View more from Missouri

Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.

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(816): Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard. http://tfl.nu/x9vd

Replies (1) Good night (384) Bad night (139) Order T-Shirt
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(402): View more from Nebraska

i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.

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(402): i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding. http://tfl.nu/exiv

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