Fine. I'll sleep in my office
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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