This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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