I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize