I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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