My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize