I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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