i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize