how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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