member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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