y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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