Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
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you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
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I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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