you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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