Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
People in love make me want to vomit
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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