y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
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If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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