In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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