Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize