yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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