Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize