Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
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We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everclear isn't food dammit
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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