If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
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WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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