Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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