I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
There's always time for handjobs
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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