please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize