I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize